It Never Really Mattered
by chibisansempei
Summary: The Final Battle didn't exactly go as planned. It was a total disaster. Now, being next to exiled and hunted by both sides, Harry Potter is on the run. Worst of all, it all started with his ex-lover betraying him... and he let it happen.*Rest is inside*AU
1. Story Information

Just to make it easier and a little better. I'm going to put all this junk here first and not put it in the individual chapters.

This goes for all chapters. I WILL update this page when the time comes it is needed. (I'm always changing things so you never know.)

_**Disclaimer**:_ This is for the whole story. I do not own anything Harry Potter related. They all belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Book... et cetera. You should be glad about this, it's a good thing. I do not gain money from this but reviews WOULD be nice to recieve. ^.^

**_Pairings:_** {This will be updated at a later date when I figure it out.}  
- Previous Draco/Harry.  
- Might have random odd flings for... someone... Not sure yet.

**_Warnings:_** {Will be updated when something new is added}  
- Slash plays a MAJOR role. Most of it previous but is mentioned quite a bit. Might add a lemon if I feel it's written well enough.  
- Death eventually. Main character. And a few others.  
- As I am American... there will be some americanisms in here because I don't know how to not be... American...  
- AU for obvious reasons. (I'll give random back stories to catch you up until the 'now'. It'll all work out.)

**_Story:_** It Never Really Mattered

_**Summary:**_ The Final Battle didn't exactly go as planned. It was a total disaster. Now, being next to exiled and hunted by both sides, Harry Potter is on the run. Worst of all, it all started with his ex-lover who betrayed him... and he let it happen. He's on the run with no wand and in a constant fear of being found and killed. Along the way, he looks for a way to prove he didn't switch sides and find a way to defeat the Dark Lord once and for all. But that proves a little difficult out on the streets. He's not sure he can do it. Things get harder as the days pass by. Death is a constant companion and a very near future for him.

_***-^.^-***_

_***+*+*** First chapter starts after this. ***+*+***_


	2. I Run

**_Chapter Title:  
I Run _**

**_*-^.^-*_**

At night, when sleep evades me, all I can think about are memories. Sweet memories full of touches and moans. Torturous memories of smiles and love. Memories that haunt me over and over.

When the time to quite running comes I can only ponder what had been and shy away from tears brought by thoughts of what would have been possible. I remember soft hair upon a pillow. Sweaty hands sprawled across my chest. Soft lips blowing cooling air onto my face even as they press to the flesh underneath.

These thought... these thoughts bring me back to the pain I now feel as I run from the one who had brought these feelings to me. I knew this would happen, I knew it was possible, but hoped beyond belief that somehow it would not occur. Even as I looked into those eyes that sparkled when I was stunned by the curse I saw reflected there, I knew I could do no harm. I wasn't played, I know. It just never made a difference.

The laughs were real, the words were true, the care I was given never false. There were no lies, this is how I knew it would happen.

And I let it happen. I did not stop it.

I couldn't.

So now I run. Hiding, even as I know it is useless. My lungs ache, my legs are like jelly and my heart beats much to fast. I use little magic only when necessary. My wand left behind, probably snapped in half before I ever woke that night.

I shall never question what happened and I have embraced it already but it does sadden me. Nothing changed, I know. I knew all along. I didn't expect it to. As I trip over myself, I'm almost glad it didn't.

I would have feared it to no end.

The happiness I had felt was never meant to last. It was never even meant to happen. It never really existed out side that place, and never would have. It had died before it happened.

I knew this, we both did. That was part of the deal. Part of the plan that should not have occurred.

I run now, from the one I loved. From the one who loved me. I run because of that love and even now, it has not gone. I run from one I should have run from before but who I grabbed closer.

I run... from Draco Malfoy.

I run from him and those he supports. I run from what we had even as I can not forget it.

I run for my life because things do not change. I'm glad they did not change. I would have feared him even more.

The night he cursed me, is the night I fell in love with him even more.

Irrevocably.

Even if it is him who throws the last unforgiving light that ends my life, I shall love him.

Because, for a single instance, he was mine. For one second he claimed me like no other could and no other ever would.

For one moment, nothing really mattered.

_***-^.^-***_

_**To Be Continued...**_

_***-^.^-* *-^.^-***_

**Chibi:** Sorry about that last. I accidentally put up the wrong thing. That was a what-cha-mit for a different story(Obviously). Sorry. This is the actual chapter.  
**Plot Bunnie:** -_- Idiot.

**Ja!**  
-Chibi

**(5-1-10) **


	3. Where It Began

**_Chapter Title:  
Where It Began_**

**_*-^.^-*_**

"Hey, Draco?"

"Yeah?" I look at the blond next to me.

"You'd tell me, right? You'd show me?" I ask this question every time we meet. And every time I'd get the same question as an answer.

"Would I really have to?" Man of many words isn't he? Always the same. Never a word different, never a vocal cord out of sync with the last time it was said. So comforting in the repetition.

"No." I whispered as I turn by bare back to him. He laughed the first time I did this. Turned away with out a care to my safety. Said he could easily attack me and I could do nothing about it. I smiled and simply told him that maybe I should take care of whom I trust then but I didn't turn back around. If anything I got even more comfortable. I wonder if he saw the meaning behind the words. He is a Malfoy so he probably did. And scoffed at me all the while, I'm sure.

I'm almost asleep when I feel a warm arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer to to a hard unforgiving chest. This is new. He's not one to cuddle. I knew he stayed until sometime after I was asleep but this... this never happened. Maybe, just maybe, he's warming up to me even if only a little bit.

*-^.^-*

My eyes slowly open to the soft glow of a rather misplaced street lamp. It's still dark out which means I've only been out for a couple of hours. I turn over onto my back and rub the sleep out of my eyes. When my fingers come into contact with tears I remember the dream I had just had. It was a memory.

A misused and rather abused class room in the dungeons of Hogwarts. I'd stumbled upon it once in my night time wanderings and it became a favorite haunt for me. Once Draco and I decided on a truce of sorts he joined me there and eventually, as we tired of bruises from the floor, transfigured a bed. It wasn't much to look at but it held well enough for our rather rough nights. I can't help but chuckle at that. I suppose I could word it better. But I have no pressing need to so whatever.

Even now, I can't remember what brought us together. With a stretch I sit up on pallet I'd made the night before. This is what I'd come to. This is how I've lived for the last few months. Along with so many other witches and wizards. We'd had to run.

As it turns out I wasn't nearly as prepared to fight Voldemort when the final confrontation happened. I know that even though a great part of the blame is lay upon me for that, having not really taken it as seriously as I should, the blame is not entirely on me.

No. I place most of it on Dumbledore. I place so much of it on him and any other who had not thought to help me along in this journey. Ron and Hermione had helped whether they knew it or not. The DA for instance. It didn't just help the other students I learned quite a bit, too. Ha. Stupid girl. Well, she might be smart but she's also ignorant. She had me start that group because she figured it would keep me occupied.

It did. And that was what had cost her. I caught her in her lie. It may have been to late but I still caught her.

Yes, stupid girl indeed.

I shift my foot, bringing my brain back to the present and the appendage begins to throb. I've been walking and running non stop for weeks now. I learned the hard way not to apparate. No, they only caught up to me that much faster.

I fish some dried bread from my ruck sack along with some jerky I'm sure it didn't start out that way and leaned against the wall. This is all I have left. Having finished the meager meal I give my feet a little rub in hopes they will numb enough to allow me to continue today. I have to keep going. Have to keep running. I put my shoes on and fold the blankets up to place into the bag. I nicked them from somewhere. Can't rightly remember now. It's been so long.

With the cover of darkness I leave the shabby, rotting building and start my travels for the day. It's been this way ever since the confrontation with snake face.

I had stood in front of him for what seemed like ages. Waiting for him to make the first move. I sought him out so it was up to him to take the lead and start what would become a rather dissatisfying battle.

Leave it to that bastard to ruin the whole facade of a great battle. I had gotten tired of waiting for him so it was I who had thrown the first curse. I still wasn't too keen on actually killing him, even if I must, so I was mostly hoping to out duel him and send his tired and unarmed person to the dementors or whatever just to be done with it.

Guess again, Harry.

No, he easily side stepped my stupid little curse and sent a sickly purple one at me that had me flying across the grounds of Hogwarts. I'm not sure how far I flew but I know it was far more than a couple of feet. I couldn't breath for what I was sure was hours. When I woke again I was in the forbidden forest and my arm... was not exactly in a most comfortable of positions. There was noise somewhere to the left and a bit farther into the trees.

It was Vodemort and he was talking lazily to his snake companion. She was leading him to me. I had risen from my spot only to fall over from vertigo and the pain that had shot up my arm and into my skull. With a quick healing charm I finally remembered from all the times spent in the hospital wing, the skin fused back together even if the bone was still separated.

Apparently he'd found me again as some other curse was shot at me and, being unable to avoid it, I was hit and once more sent into the air. Luckily not as far this time but enough to hurt on the way down.

With that thought in mind, I was up and running. Not that it mattered to much. Every other step had me tripping. Dizzy as I was.

The weird thing is, the more I ran, the clearer my head seemed to be. The more my heart pumped, the more the fog disappeared. At that time I chalked it up to adrenaline. Oh how wrong I was.

It seemed that Mister Moldy wasn't going to run after me. I think now that he was trying to psych me out. I have to say... it worked. I was scared witless. With a power like his he probably didn't need to run after me.

For all I know he could travel in the darkness itself.

He did catch up to me. He'd send a small cutting curse at me, just enough to make me bleed, then he'd vanish. About a minute and a half later he do it again.

He continued this until he had herded me into the middle of the forest. I didn't even realize he had done this until he stopped tormenting me and I calmed my nerves enough to realize I could no longer hear the battle.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not at all.

There was a snap of a twig behind me and, as natural instinct dictates, I turned around and shouted a hex at it. Poor, poor... branch...

Yeah, I hexed a freakin' branch. Brilliant, right? Hmm... apparently Mister Dark Lord himself thought so seeing as he laughed at me before once again throwing some unknown spell in my direction.

As I laid on the ground groaning in pain, he click his tongue at me.

"Now, now Harry, that was simply amusing, why are you not laughing?" As if to prove he wasn't just pulling my leg on that he, oddly enough, cast a tickle charm on me. So obviously you can see why, when a small group of what had become my new friends had found us, they would curse my existence as they saw me rolling around on the ground in laughter in front of none other than the one they had sworn to defeat.

Even if I was able to get out any coherent words, it wouldn't have mattered. I wouldn't have been able to correct their mistaken thoughts because in a flash, literally, most of them were dead and the remaining two were dumbfounded that I was still laughing before they were sent skyward.

I now know that they had lived long enough to tell others about my 'betrayal'. He might seem like a mad man but I'm sure everyone knows that the greatest of men are doomed to be mad, therefore it's understandable to me now how he had played every one there.

With another curse that sent me flying, the beast that dared call himself a man picked up my wand and strutted over to my prone form with an amused smirk on his face. He rapped me on the head with it in a reprimanding way before pushing it gently into the ground next to my head.

With his own wand he paralyzed me and sat down on a plush pillow next to my head to explained what would happen to me once he left. He had kept me a live that night, even as I died. Because I HAD began to die.

Draco, the lovely bastard he is, had placed a rather nasty little curse on me. I thought it was just a stinging one that sapped the energy from me.

Ha. How little I know, right?

It was Voldemort who had told me what it was and even... how to cure what was happening to me. There were steps and phases to the curse and he gave me every little detail about it.

As odd as it seems... I couldn't help but to believe every word he said. He did not lie to me even once.

So now, here I am, seeking out the cure to this stupid curse. And man, if I'm not exhausted then Mister Weasely didn't pull some demon phantom out of a muggle wedgie bored last spring. And if you don't believe THAT then you can go ahead and check out the dead, frostbitten skin on my back. I think there's even come fabric left on it.

Another depressing end to another sad, long, painful day. There's an ally close by, rather run down. Figuring it's the safest place to hide for a few hours, I sit down, not even bothering to sleep at first. Today was a rather luck day. I was able to keep going as I needed to and wasn't hardly interrupted.

Though, it seems as if some bad news had also occurred. _Just_ running doesn't seem to work as well anymore. Just as that creep had said. Sometimes, I wish he had killed me that day.

_***-^.^-***_

_**To Be Continued...**_

_***-^.^-* *-^.^-***_

**Chibi:** Well, here ya go. It's longer than the last one! ^.^ I'll try to keep them long but no promises.  
**Plot Bunnie:** -Mumbles- ...Spaz...  
**Chibi:** -Ignores PlotBunnie's negativism- Please review! I'll update faster. Next chapter half way done... I think... Yeah... PLEAASE! -Begs-

**Ja!**  
-Chibi

**(7-6-10) **


	4. Of Course

_**Chapter Title:**_

_**Of Course**_

It's after hours. When everyone but the select few teachers and Filtch are sleeping. I've taken to walking the corridores, as you probably would have guess by now. I can't sleep. Dreams don't come to me anymore so what little rest I do get... is worthless.

About two or three months ago I found an abandoned class room. Cleaned it up a bit. Most nights I just lay under the window. Covered in moon light.

Tonight was different though. I had a feeling of dejavu.

I was laying, facing the window, staring at a constellation I had come to recognize over time. The door squeaked open. I didn't look over to see who it was, they were sure to say something so I'd soon find out anyway.

No. They wouldn't say anything. I remember now.

I'm dreaming.

It's Draco who had walked in. It was the first time. This was pretty much the turning point for everything.

Draco walked in, spotted me fast, obviously, and just paused. I'm not sure what he was thinking or if it showed on his face. He scoffed though and left. No one else came back that night. Nor did I get called out for it the next day.

It was odd of him not to tell. He didn't seem any different the times I saw him after. Of course I saw less and less of him as time went on but still.

It was a few nights later when I went back to that room. It was getting harder to ditch those two. At almost dawn I heard a nearby door open. Usually I don't pay attention to anything but as any overused story plot would have it… I decided to check it out and change everything. I snuck a quick peek through the door and saw Malfoy walking by. How cliché.

What's even more so… It seemed that he knew I was watching him. He probably did. Though my spell only worked one way. Next best thing?

I followed him, we got into a big, but quiet fight… And we came to an agreement of sorts.

Yeah. Sounds like one of those fantasy stories those weird gossiping girls talk about doesn't it? Mother fate… She must be a yaoi fan girl. (Chibi: Yeah. I totally just went there. XD)

I can't remember how exactly that night went. It's kinda blurry. It… Muffins? Crab cakes. What? That cat kinda looks like… That's a funny looking mouse.

Red flash and I'm sent into the air. I am no longer asleep.

I've been found.

Again.

I hear 'Potter' being shouted all around me. 'Capture'? That's my queue to get the hell up and disappear!

I curl into a ball and think. Think of any place but this one. With a sickening crack I'm gone from their sight. I have to run though. It won't be long 'til they show up again.

I run. I run and run. My legs move faster than my heart can beat. Adrenalin from the close call propelling me ever faster. My sweaty shirt sticking to me uncomfortably. My shoes, threatening to fall off as always. And my hand. I look quickly at my hand. My pinky finger has been spliced off. Appiriation is hard and dangerous enough. With out a wand… forget it. I can only hope that this next time… I don't do worse.

With another sickening crack the darkened park is once again empty. And I am thrown into a shallow pond. There is blood next to my head. I hear a startled duck. And feel sand rub against my hand. I can breath.

I can not see.

But I can dream.

***-^.^-***

**To Be Continued…**

***-^.^-***

**Chibi:** … Just don't ask… Okay?  
**PlotBunnie**: -Ignoring-  
**Chibi:** Whatever. Soo… tell me what you think? Heh. =l And sorry it's so short and weird. =\

_**Ja**_  
_**-Chibi**_

_**(8-3-11)**_


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